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Thread Box:
paceline farting
Thread started by KiMS1 at 01.5.09 - 1:29 pm

with the economy crashing and my school grants running low, ive been eating a lot of homemade bean and rice burritos (btw, rbi, that mexican rice recipe ratio is the shit).

the beans and rice combo leaves my bowels rumbling to the point of nuclear methane explosion.

i would just like to say that ive gotten really good at aiming my ass to leave fart clouds in front of unsuspecting folks pacelining behind me.

i especially love leaving clouds while climbing hills and everyones taking huge deep breaths. they get a mouthful of ass and i think thats pretty fucking awesome.

anywho,

come to tuesday night special and let me fart in your mouth.

reply


kinky shit, lol



eddieboyinla
01.5.09 - 1:31 pm

reply


eddie,

let me fart in ur mouth.



KiMS1
01.5.09 - 1:31 pm

reply


if its a big enough paceline you can get away with it.
you gotta be much more careful about spitting.
I always try to take shit before a serious ride anyway. who needs to carry around that extra weight. An unscientific survey says 90% of all farts are caused by unnaturally holding back shits.




trickmilla
01.5.09 - 1:57 pm

reply


yeah spitting sucks.

farts are always fun though.



KiMS1
01.5.09 - 2:21 pm

reply


SO DOES SPITTING FARTS OUT, YUMMY!



eddieboyinla
01.5.09 - 2:30 pm

reply


someone brought up farting while riding fixed before, and how you cant do it because youre always sitting down. whoever said it was a fool.

anyway, in case anyone else wants to steal the burrito rice recipe that canadienne came up with and i perfected, you just need a few things.



1 cup rice
1 cup water
1 can el pato
2 tablespoons tapatio
combine all in the rice maker and wait for it to cook. then burn your tongue.
the jumex is for you to drink while the rice is cooking.




ruinedbyidiots
01.5.09 - 3:10 pm

reply


"someone brought up farting while riding fixed before, and how you cant do it because youre always sitting down. whoever said it was a fool. "

no shit. who always sits? and why can't one fart while sitting?



toweliesbong
01.5.09 - 3:15 pm

reply


apparently i was the "fool" talking about farting while riding fixed.

its not that i had a problem with trying to fart while sitting, i mean who could do that, it was more like when i stand to fart while riding, my ass cheeks were clenched.

regardless, it was a retarded topic posted on this retarded website for retarded cyclists.

fart on dudes.



KiMS1
01.5.09 - 3:37 pm

reply


Dude that sucks u be blowing farts in a paceline. Keep ur ass in the back.... or is it that u find it funny to blow bacteria in ur comrades faces?



Debut213
01.5.09 - 3:38 pm

reply


fart on! i, too, have been eating a lot of beans. they're filling, cheap, low glycemic, and a great source of fiber and protein.



toweliesbong
01.5.09 - 3:40 pm

reply


unless youre riding pantsless, theres gonna be no more bacteria in the air from a fart than there is from exhaust fumes or whatever else.



ruinedbyidiots
01.5.09 - 3:41 pm

reply


with all the dangers that come from riding with a bunch of drunken snotty kids, the last you should be worrying about is getting a whiff of what i had for lunch.



KiMS1
01.5.09 - 3:46 pm

reply


I've tried farting while sitting on the saddle, and for some reason (maybe it was the type of fart, I don't know) I couldn't do it. But isn't this thread a repost?



imachynna
01.5.09 - 3:48 pm

reply


that's happened to me many times. one time, someone commented on the loudness of my fart while i was right next to Richie's speaker. i was flattered.

in any case, to prevent flatulence and save money, you can cook the beans from scratch (dry beans) and after soaking them overnight, remove the skins. it's a little time-intensive, but it will eliminate your need to fart.

or you can just fart on.



tortuga_veloce
01.5.09 - 3:50 pm

reply


Shit I ant worried about ur ass blowing one my way i dont go to ur ride. I was asking a question do u find it funny to blow farts in a paceline?



Debut213
01.5.09 - 3:56 pm

reply


does this mean there's no SFVCM tomorrow?????



sancho1
01.5.09 - 3:57 pm

reply


RBI so ur claiming that ur underwear and ur pants are enough to filter out all the bacteria in a fart?



Debut213
01.5.09 - 3:59 pm

reply



what bacteria are you talking about? theres none in a fart to make you sick if thats what youre wondering. in order to properly answer your question, you need to word it properly.



ruinedbyidiots
01.5.09 - 4:03 pm

reply


if you're concerned about your co-rider's health just wear farty pants.



toweliesbong
01.5.09 - 4:04 pm

reply


bacteria is everywhere. they are on every surface you touch, on every hand you shake. if there are bacteria in farts they would not get through the clothing. if you are going to worry about such bacteria, youre the boy in the bubble and youll never do anything.



ruinedbyidiots
01.5.09 - 4:07 pm

reply


@debut

oh dude, i love farting in pacelines. i love ripping it and then looking back a half second later to see reactions. its amazing.





KiMS1
01.5.09 - 4:07 pm

reply


I love my bubble. RBI you are a fart...



Debut213
01.5.09 - 4:31 pm

reply


does your safety bubble make it so you cant complete your thoughts and have to end everything with an ellipse?
if you fart in your safety bubble, does it filter out all that bacteria, or do you just huff it all day?



ruinedbyidiots
01.5.09 - 4:33 pm

reply


I love farts. I really do.



imachynna
01.5.09 - 4:38 pm

reply


@chynna

i think i ripped a no holds bar fart in front of you on TNS. i apologize if that was incredibly crude.

i also apologize for yelling "titty city" at a car full of women.

thats pretty douchey.



KiMS1
01.5.09 - 4:46 pm

reply


I know someone who, while doing karaoke in a huge ass bowling alley with lots of air space, walks outside in the biggest downpour of the rainy season to let loose his/her fart.

NOW THAT'S CLASS ASS!!!





toweliesbong
01.5.09 - 4:49 pm

reply


dude, that IS class.

kudos to that ass!



KiMS1
01.5.09 - 4:56 pm

reply


That's definitely class.

@KIMS
Eh, you can fart in front of me all you want, I don't care. I love farts. As for yelling at that car, I can't really back you up there. Haha.



imachynna
01.5.09 - 4:58 pm

reply


@chynna

yeah, the yelling at the car thing. i apologize. there are certain times when i truly suck, but for the most part, i think im pretty nice. haha,.



KiMS1
01.5.09 - 5:06 pm

reply


I'd like to fart in a packed elevator at some point...



imachynna
01.5.09 - 5:07 pm

reply


"I'd like to fart in a packed elevator at some point..."

When you do it make sure its loud and own that shit! "That's right I farted and if you can smell it that's my ass in your nose"



Sandman
01.5.09 - 5:10 pm

reply


I've done SBDs in packed elevators.





toweliesbong
01.5.09 - 5:10 pm

reply


PACKED ELEVATOR, LOL



eddieboyinla
01.5.09 - 5:10 pm

reply


ive farted in empty elevators once and had a pack come in. it was pretty embarassing.



KiMS1
01.5.09 - 5:11 pm

reply


"That's right I farted and if you can smell it that's my ass in your nose"


HAHAHAHAHAHA, YES!!!



imachynna
01.5.09 - 5:11 pm

reply


I held in my farts for 5 hours while driving back from Arizona with RBI...
If that isn't romance, I dunno what is.



canadienne
01.5.09 - 5:45 pm

reply


best thread ever.



Jazzy Phat Nastee
01.5.09 - 6:45 pm

reply


there was no need to hold them in.



ruinedbyidiots
01.5.09 - 6:48 pm

reply


Just threw up in my mouth again.. just playing.. Damn Rbi you might actually turn out to have feelings after all..



Debut213
01.5.09 - 6:56 pm

reply


why are you so hung up on me?



ruinedbyidiots
01.5.09 - 6:59 pm

reply


KiMS1 at 01.5.09 - 4:29 pm:


"i would just like to say that ive gotten really good at aiming my ass to leave fart clouds in front of unsuspecting folks pacelining behind me. "



well no shit (no pun intended) this guy believes everyone on the rides (90% according to him) are not to be trusted or dont follow that little rule of "no rider left BEHIND." what a fucking dick!!



GodLovesUgly
01.5.09 - 7:01 pm

reply


I THINK ITS YOUR NOSE.



eddieboyinla
01.5.09 - 7:01 pm

reply


@ Kimmy:

advice: before shitting on this board about all the things that suck... try working on becoming a better fellow rider.



GodLovesUgly
01.5.09 - 7:01 pm

reply


kims is a fine rider.



ruinedbyidiots
01.5.09 - 7:02 pm

reply


i wasnt asking you.



GodLovesUgly
01.5.09 - 7:03 pm

reply


u mad.



ruinedbyidiots
01.5.09 - 7:04 pm

reply


hung up on you lol.. Some one has a big ego doesnt he. Ur always on every freaking thread its pretty hard to ignore ur professional trolling. you mad?



Debut213
01.5.09 - 7:04 pm

reply


hardly.



GodLovesUgly
01.5.09 - 7:04 pm

reply


Seriously!



Alexcantsee
01.5.09 - 7:05 pm

reply


hey troll, i believe you forgot this:





GodLovesUgly
01.5.09 - 7:05 pm

reply


i didnt forget it, i just upgraded.




ruinedbyidiots
01.5.09 - 7:10 pm

reply


@godmakesoutwithugly

ride a few more years and have a few more drunkos crash in front of you and try to fight you for keeping things in order.

THEN

have some more assholes drop beers infront of you and wipe out into a curb

THEN

have a million snotty little kids ask you what ur gear ratio is.


sorry if i seem a bit jaded, ive been told many times that i can be a dick.

but hey man, for what its worth, if you ask folks, i think theyd say im nice fella.

btw, most of my shit talking happens on MR bc im at work and i get bored.

come talk to me on one of my rides and you'll see im not that bad.

shit man, ill even let you fart on me!!!




KiMS1
01.5.09 - 7:19 pm

reply


"have a million snotty little kids ask you what ur gear ratio is."
HAHAHAHAHHA



imachynna
01.5.09 - 7:22 pm

reply


Wait, did someone say penny farthing?



imachynna
01.5.09 - 7:22 pm

reply


its true!!!

its like when i used to skateboard a lot, because im kinda old, id have kids come up, hey man! what kinda board is that?!?!

WHY DOES THIS SHIT MATTER!!!


ive even gotten

"hey man! can you do a skid?"


aaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhh

little kids are sure funny though.


my little cousins such a little shit. its great



KiMS1
01.5.09 - 7:24 pm

reply


hahaha penny farthing?!?!



LOOK MOTHERFUCKER! YOU KNOW WHAT MY GEAR RATIO!!! MY GEAR RATIO IS 1:1!!!

WATCH THIS SKID TO FACEPLANT YOU ASS!!!



KiMS1
01.5.09 - 7:25 pm

reply


Sounds like they look up to u kims since they ask you what u ride etc etc. they only want to be like u. Dont be a dick and show them the right way how not to be a hipster in the MR community.



Debut213
01.5.09 - 7:28 pm

reply


i have no problems with normal kids.

just kids that act like little thugs.

they scare me.





KiMS1
01.5.09 - 7:30 pm

reply


they ask you your ratio and how much your ride costs and all that crap because they want to fit in with the cool kids. too bad the legit cool kids could give two shits about those sorts of things. one day in the future they might understand, but by then the fad has long gone and they are on to the next cool thing. meanwhile the legit cool kids are still doing whatever they were doing in the first place.



ruinedbyidiots
01.5.09 - 7:31 pm

reply


three things i truly care about

1. fecal coliforms in our water supply (work stuff)
2. deals at the super market (im frugal as hell)
3. loved ones (family, friends, significant other)



KiMS1
01.5.09 - 7:34 pm

reply


That's it, if I ride behind any of y'all and my face starts melting off, I know who's doorstep to set a flaming bag of shit down onto!!!!!



bentstrider
01.5.09 - 7:35 pm

reply


btw,

SFVCM tmorrow!


and also

chynna,
did u get back home okay after TNS?



KiMS1
01.5.09 - 7:36 pm

reply


@adam

dude, you're a fucking marked man.

my fart cannon is aimed for you now.



KiMS1
01.5.09 - 7:36 pm

reply


Well, off to the surplus store to find a respirator that won't get eaten through.

And if this fails, tell my loving wife Cordelia to look after Kassandra and Alexander.



bentstrider
01.5.09 - 7:39 pm

reply


i wonder if anyone has sharted during a ride





KiMS1
01.5.09 - 7:40 pm

reply


@kims
Yeah, I decided to go back with Lee when everyone split at Ralph's since I had no idea where the fuck I was and would rather make it to the train with almost 0 miles ridden then be stranded way the fuck out there. Haha.



imachynna
01.5.09 - 7:40 pm

reply


RUN, SENTENCE, RUN!!



imachynna
01.5.09 - 7:41 pm

reply


yeah, sorry bout that route, we rode a lot at our *ahem* special final destination.

we''ll be back to normal routes after SFVCM



KiMS1
01.5.09 - 7:42 pm

reply


i think there should be a ride where all the valley kids go to the westside, and all the westside kids come to the valley.

then we can all get super lost and eventually find each other somewher along the sepulveda pass on our way home



KiMS1
01.5.09 - 7:45 pm

reply


I think there should be a ride where everyone comes to the "eastside" and doesn't leave early.



imachynna
01.5.09 - 7:46 pm

reply


well since the trains stopped running all the valley kids have to stay out there till 4 in the morning. or drunkenly fly down zoo dr at 3.



KiMS1
01.5.09 - 7:48 pm

reply


btw, party in burbank tnight at burbank/hollywood way


get at me for some beers fooooollllllllll.

or catching come down the orange line bike path.



KiMS1
01.5.09 - 7:52 pm

reply


I once got in an empty elevator that someone else had mega-farted in and on the next floor, a really hot tv star (the redheaded secretary from mad men) got in the elevator with me. Of course, I found the situation really funny, so was trying to suppress my laughter, quite unsuccessfully, which only made me look that much more guilty. I'd be dating a tv star now, I tell you, if it weren't for that damned anonymous fart!



ideasculptor
01.5.09 - 7:56 pm

reply


If you rip a really big fart during a sprint you might get a little turbo boost. That's all I can think of. Just say whoever smelt it delt it.



Velocipede
01.5.09 - 9:08 pm

reply


Speaking of farting:



If you don't want to watch the whole thing just go to 7:20.



Jazzy Phat Nastee
01.5.09 - 9:44 pm

reply


How is it you guys can keep on subject when you're talking about farting, but when you're talking about underage drinking, it goes off subject and stays off subject with way over a 100 posts????



User1
01.5.09 - 11:23 pm

reply


because grown ass men complaining about natural body functions is more hilarious.



ruinedbyidiots
01.5.09 - 11:24 pm

reply


How it is you guys managed to keep on topic about farting for over 75 posts, yet the underage drinking goes off topic after the first 5 posts?

MR is full of farting aficionados perhaps?



User1
01.5.09 - 11:50 pm

reply


@velocipede

Light up a cigarette behind that one and take out the entire pace-line!!!!



bentstrider
01.6.09 - 12:29 am

reply


yes. expose your noxious fumes to naked flame and watch them EXPLODE. i firmly believe that if we somehow found a way to harness the power behind flatulence the world's energy crisis would be solved. it's a renewable, cost effective, and practical form of fuel. now if i could only figure out some sort of contraption to... how do i put this.... SUCK FARTS OUT OF MY ASSHOLE.



boneclaws42
01.6.09 - 12:52 am

reply


1 cup rice
1 cup water
1 can el pato
2 tablespoons tapatio
combine all in the rice maker and wait for it to cook. then burn your tongue.
the jumex is for you to drink while the rice is cooking.


rbi,
try adding 2 garlic cloves, one unchopped serrano pepper and 1/4 cup of minced onion... and it will be much more savory.



Eddie GOpez
01.6.09 - 1:05 am

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all that stuff is already in the el pato.



ruinedbyidiots
01.6.09 - 9:40 am

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the onion and serrano chilis are in the salsa I make that goes on top ;)



canadienne
01.6.09 - 9:52 am

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Sounds like the same thing I use when broiling chicken.

Brings the flavor right out of the bone!!!



bentstrider
01.6.09 - 9:53 am

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