Thread started by pporras
at 02.6.09 - 6:21 pm
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What's up with that?!"
So she says the words that every guy on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not for what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I turned over and went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at the South Coast Plaza shopping mall. I walked around with her while she tried on several different -- very expensive -- outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to several designer jewelry stores where she picked out a pair of one carat diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement! Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all, sweetie; let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank and her jaw dropped: "WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not any closer to having sex tonight....but hey, at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
with out reading the thread, my comment is
"this guy again"
02.6.09 - 6:28 pm
oh god... the only thing worse than the lame email forwards from my dad, is the lame email forwards from my dad being posted here.
02.6.09 - 6:37 pm
jokes on the guy anyway cuz now he REALLY isn't gonna get any! DUMB FUCK
02.6.09 - 6:41 pm
"mastur your bation...play with your own squishy"
02.6.09 - 6:45 pm
is this the same guy that was posting stuff bout how his significant other left him for some macho mtb dude?
02.6.09 - 6:45 pm
dude that thread was about another guy i know! and no thankfully it's not me! But i can say after many strippers and hookers later anything is forgivable/achiveable!Ha got some!
02.6.09 - 6:48 pm
actually valley ball rules! except for the 18 dollar charge for 3 mini water bottles! any one been to club ermosillo?
02.6.09 - 6:49 pm
it's funny cuz it's true...
understanding women is like understanding death/taxes. they're equally unknowable and trying to figure them out will only leave you frustrated and angry.
02.6.09 - 6:55 pm
you had sex with a hooker?
02.6.09 - 6:58 pm
hell NO ! cida no mames cabron! never! a hooker no way! but a slutt now thats diffrent! JK.
02.6.09 - 7:00 pm
"what's to understand? we're all humans."
diz nut tru aktully
k fenks bai
02.6.09 - 7:46 pm
"oh god... the only thing worse than the lame email forwards from my dad, is the lame email forwards from my dad being posted here."
Huh? I thought RBI's video was pretty cool.
The original joke in this thread? Fuckin' lame.
02.6.09 - 8:06 pm
its threads like this that make me wanna give up this web site.
02.6.09 - 10:02 pm
The lesson here is: if you're going to be an idiot, at least be an original
02.6.09 - 10:38 pm
Ever heard the old saying ?
IF IT HAS WHEELS OR TITS IT WILL GIVE YOU TROUBLE.
02.7.09 - 12:06 am
It's true, it really is. Often when I am speaking to a woman, she will be all like "I would like to go to a shopping mall and purchase clothes." And then I will be all like "I certainly wish I were drinking domestic beer while watching a sporting contest on television." Then she will counter by pointing out that I am not very good at selecting articles of clothing that go well with each other. However, I invariably recover from this insult by noting the fact that she does not know much about how an automobile runs. Then, if she is in a position to know about it, she will say something critical about my selfishness and lack of finesse during copulation. At this point I usually take out a club and knock her unconscious.
Women are funny, funny people.
02.7.09 - 2:16 am
Date a bike chick and your life will be easier.
02.7.09 - 4:12 am
@towliesbong, I meant the original post. My dad literally sent me that same stupid joke a couple of years ago.
Now, back to the kitchen...
02.7.09 - 3:30 pm
I know, I know, I just thought it was funny that it followed rbi's video.
02.7.09 - 3:35 pm