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Thread Box:
Nicole's Bag - Please Call Home
Thread started by Nicoles Bags Mom at 03.16.09 - 3:10 pm

Honey, please call me. I know you're angry right now, but I am worried about you. These people that you're hanging out with just seem scary and I can't sleep at night knowing that you're out on the streets with them.

Your father and I did all we could for you. We wanted you to have the best of everything. Were we perfect? No. Is anybody?

Please, honey, just let us know you're all right. We're not trying to judge you, and we're not going to try to make you come home. It scares us that you are living with dumb smelly people. We just want to know you're all right.

reply


oh, too funny.



DeKadenzy
03.16.09 - 3:12 pm

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This is not funny to us. We raised that little bag. We took her to school, we fed her, we read her stories, we stayed up all night with her when she had a fever and was having nightmares and we took turns putting cool wet cloths on her little forehead...I'm sorry, DeKadenzy, whoever you are. I don't mean to get emotional. It's just hard because we don't know where she is or if she's OK, and she won't call us.

The good news is that the FBI has agreed to help us, and they're going to use a really sophisticated piece of authentication software to make sure that nobody hoaxes us. Nicole's bag's father and I are just so grateful for all the help.

Please, guys, if you see Nicole's bag, tell her to call us. Please?



Nicoles Bags Mom
03.16.09 - 3:17 pm

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Dear Mom and Dad,


Please don't be mad at me. I was just sitting there on the ground at the Nerds ride and these guys came up to me screaming "K-Town whos's Haytin" and they sprayed me with paint from some sort of aerosol can. They weren't very tal;ented though so I look like a little kid drew all over me with a crayon.

Then they just picked me up and took me back to their Mom's house in Korea Town. I don't know what to do. I want to make a run for it but they are all in the living room playing some video games they stole from blockbuster.

Please come find me. I can't understand enough of what they are saying to figure out where I am. Its all gibbersih to me.

On no here they vcomce I have tot go!





NeeCoalsBhag420
03.16.09 - 3:27 pm

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The above post cannot be authenticated. Until further notice please consider all posts from user "NeeCoalsBhag420" inauthentic.

Hang in there, Nicole's bag's mom! The FBI and PAM are doing all we can!



PAM
03.16.09 - 3:34 pm

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They have me buckled to a chair at the moment, the phone is in the other room. I think they are trying to paint me!!! Fortunately, they haven't figured out how get the cap off the spray can and I overheard one of them say that their mom is coming home soon so they need to hide me again. Don't worry about me though, if the FBI fails to find me I'm going underground to infiltrate this ring of thieves and expose them. They will never suspect a bag. I miss you :-(







NicolesBag
03.16.09 - 3:34 pm

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NeeCoalsBhag420 is an impostor bag!!! it's a trick Nicole; don't listen to it.





NicolesBag
03.16.09 - 3:35 pm

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Ok they are gone now.

It's me!!!!!! Please believe me!

I just want to be back on nicoles back. They keep spilling shoplifted beers in me and they keep trying to sell me to their friends.

I'm worth way more than $15 what the fuck! How poor are these kids anyway.








NeeCoalsBhag420
03.16.09 - 3:38 pm

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That's her! That's my daughter! I would know that writing style anywhere. "NicolesBag," that is. Not "NeeCoalsBhag420." PAM, please authenticate to make sure...but I know already in my heart that it's my daughter.

But why won't she talk to me directly? What did I do? Where did I go wrong?



Nicoles Bags Mom
03.16.09 - 3:39 pm

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Oh my gawd you guys have to do something. They have a spray can and a stencil in the other room. I think they are all gonna come in here and Tag-Team me.





NeeCoalsBhag420
03.16.09 - 3:40 pm

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PLEASDSE HELP THEY ARE ALMOST HERE!!! I NEED HELP.!!!





NeeCoalsBhag420
03.16.09 - 3:41 pm

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User "NicolesBag" is authenticated. You were right, Nicole's bag's mom! It is your daughter!

Now, everybody please listen to me carefully. The FBI is aware of what is going on, and they will be on the scene soon. Expect a post from them later tonight. NicolesBag, I am temporarily giving you access to PAM. This is not for plugging purposes! Only for legitimate search and rescue purposes! Legitimate purposes only!

nicolesbag@pam:$

Nicole's bag's mom, please stay calm. We are all doing what we can. At this point all you can do is wait.



PAM
03.16.09 - 3:46 pm

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It's ok mom, I have everything under control. You have raised me well. I can handle anything that comes my way and if I never see you again please know that I <3 you and will spend the rest of my life(in bag years) trying to find you and expose the retards that did this.

NeeCoalsBhag420, back off or I'll reach back like a pimps bag and put a buckle across your 1,000 denier Cordura outer shell bitch.



NicolesBag
03.16.09 - 3:48 pm

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Oh, honey, it's such a relief to hear from you. I really wish we could have talked about all of our problems calmly. It shouldn't have had to end the way it did. Maybe your father and I were too overbearing, but we wanted you to have the best of everything. I guess we got so caught up in giving it to you that we forgot to ask you what YOU wanted. I'm sorry. We're sorry.

I want everybody to know that PAM has been just great through all of this. As you can see, her help (his help? its help?) has been invaluable. By the way, does anybody know what "root access" means? She (he? it?) keeps taking me aside and asking me if I want some.





Nicoles Bags Mom
03.16.09 - 3:57 pm

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As I was making that last post, there was a knock at our door. Nicole's bag's father went to open it, and there was a cat at the door. It was hard to understand what the cat was saying, because he was speaking in broken English and he would keep interrupting himself and just dance for five or ten minutes at a time, but we got the jist of it...he wants to help us and he may have some leads.

This is just the greatest community. Thank you all for your help.

Love,
Nicole's Bag's Mom



Nicoles Bags Mom
03.16.09 - 4:00 pm

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just want to send shout outs of support to the whole Nicole's Bag family. I know these are rough times. Just keep your baggy chins up and everything will be ok.

Please keep us updated on progress.

Love,
Ashira



redridinghood
03.16.09 - 4:52 pm

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Look for a post from the FBI soon.

Meanwhile, the FBI and PAM would like Nicole's cell phone to get in touch with us here on the forum. PAM will authenticate, and then the FBI will run a GPS trace on the phone to get a location. Get with PAM, Nicole's cell phone! We need you!



PAM
03.16.09 - 5:16 pm

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Woah!! Hi! Mama and Papa Bag!! I had no idea... I am really sorry I didn't watch out for Nicole's Bag as much as I should have. Nicole's Bag was really good to me and I feel like I really let er down... really. I will keep you guys posted on any events or information I have about Nicole's Bag. Believe me I miss Nicole's Bag a lot! I don't want you to think I moved on... but I used Dan B's Bag today... not used... i mean it was concensual. oh forget it... it just wasn't the same, but very kind of Dan B's Bag to keep me company in my time of sadness.



mixtemotions
03.16.09 - 6:14 pm

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Wow I never knew families were affected like this. This makes me real sad.

:-(



User1
03.16.09 - 6:32 pm

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Nicole, please know that we don't blame you for any of this. What many of you folks don't know is that Nicole's bag is the product of a mixed marriage: I am a Chrome and her father is a Freight. We had hoped it wouldn't affect the household but now l am coming to realize that it probably did. I don't know what else to say. I just want my baby home.



Nicoles Bags Mom
03.16.09 - 7:36 pm

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But I have five bar seatbelt webbing, genetically, it would be impossible to have been fathered by a Freight bag.

Mother, was I adopted?

NB



NicolesBag
03.16.09 - 8:02 pm

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or...


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



NicolesBag
03.16.09 - 8:04 pm

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Honey, do we have to talk about this now? I just need to know that you are all right. This is breaking my heart, sweetie, you have to believe me when I say that. My baggy little eyes have bags under them because I've been crying all weekend. Please call me. Please?



Nicoles Bags Mom
03.16.09 - 8:10 pm

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Why doesn't someone do an IP trace on NicolesBag? I hope that's what the FBI is doing anyways. I'm getting so bummed about seeing how NicolesBag had a life too. I just hope she can handle this.

:-(



User1
03.16.09 - 8:53 pm

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Ah, you see, now we are making some real progress! Even if these concerns over parentage prove unfounded, the fact that doubts have remained for so long is evidence enough of repressed Oedipal conflicts. While this is not the ideal time to analyze the matter in depth, resolution of these underlying issues will undoubtedly do much to normalize relations between Nicole's Bag and the bag parents.

The thieves, for their part, also present an interesting study. This "bag hoarding" behavior is a clear indication that they are suffering from certain unresolved issues of their own. One hopes that they will mature quickly and move on to more productive pursuits.

Now where's my snuff box? Ah! Yes... yes... excellent...



Sigmund Freud
03.16.09 - 9:28 pm

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bump



ZombiesGotMyTongue
03.17.09 - 9:46 am

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We are nearing a breakthrough! But it may not be the breakthrough you expect!



PAM
03.17.09 - 2:00 pm

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Thank you all for your support. We heard from Nicole's bag this afternoon and she and I and her father had a long talk. I think we worked out some big issues (for the record, Nicole's bag was NOT adopted), but she told us that she is not coming home. We don't understand it but we're at peace with it. We will be forever grateful to PAM and the FBI for their help, and Knittens...well, I'm still not sure what Knittens did, but what a great dancer! Don't feel bad, Nicole, you took very good care of her. I heard that you want to work with kids someday, and I think you will be great at it! Thanks again, everyone.



Nicoles Bags Mom
03.17.09 - 9:59 pm

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FUCK THAT SHIT YO. YALL NEEDZ TO GET OFF MY NUTZ N SHIT. IMA NEW BAG WITH DIS FRESH BLACK PAINT AND NEW HOMIEZ DAWG. FUCK ALL THAT CARRYING OTHERZ PPLZ SHIT AND NOT GETTING PAID SHIT. IM DRUNK AS MOTHA FUCK SHIT CHILLIN. WHEN I FIND MY REAL DAD?? SHIT IMA GONNA SLIT HIS FLAP FROM STRAP TO STRAP FOR REALZ.



NicolesBag
03.18.09 - 11:42 am

reply

Reply


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