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#37 - The UFO Ride
Highland Park across Suicide Bridge to the Rose Bowl and back.

January 2007

The Ride the FAA won't tell you about.

The 37th Midnight Ridazz UFO ride was headed up by none other than Joe Borfo of the evil Trenway Bicycle gang. Starting off at Mr. T's in Highland park, the Ridazz rolled up some hillzz and then a couple mo' hillzz ever strengthening their thighs in the process. Good thing since studies have shown that strong thighs provide for an excellent defense against alien abductions.

The hunt for intelligent alien lifeforms began with the crossing of Suicide Bridge followed by the descent into the dark streets of suburban Pasadena's Arroyo Dr. It was no coincidence that 55 years earlier an actual documented alien abduction had occurred on what is now the North East corner of the Rose Bowl parking lot.... It was an omen of sorts. Never the less, the Ridazz showed no fear and proceeded forth to investigate only to be startled by the appearance of an actual UFO! No wait it was it was Borfo. "Egads!" screamed the Ridazz. He'd apparently been re-birthed by aliens! Struggling to free himself from the galactic schmegma clinging to his body.... burning.... screaming, writhing in uncomfortable silence caused by the distinct sonic evidence of a lack of applause, Borfo finally freed himself of the orgasmic placenta and the Ridazz continued on fearless as ever....

The night progressed without further incident, though many gave pause to question the very moral essence of a universe that could enable the massive simultaneous brainwashings that lured them into riding a bicycle at 12AM in record cold temperatures. "Onward!" yelled one confident Rida who had not a single clue as to where the route would lead.... and with that the Ridazz rolled off into the darkness.... never to be seen again. (Except for that one wrong turn which brought them back to the Rose Bowl.)

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