help number 2!
Thread started by
Frozen Fingersss at 11.30.08 - 9:20 pm
i need to move out asap. my mom says i cant live here if i don't follow her rules...and well...fuck that. her rules are psychotic.
i have 300 dollars to my name. i'm working but its a seasonal job so i will need another job by january. does anyone know of somewhere i can move to for CHEAP? like now.
sara bond offered her place for 200 month to sleep on a pull out bed but i want to see if I have any options since her place is quite small.
I need to stay on the westside.
even if you have a place i could stay for free for a night or a few days could be helpful as well.
thoughts, ideas, suggestions.....
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she's kicking me out.
my life's great. i don't know about yours....
i forget all you do is act like a jackass on the forums all day.
my bad.
Frozen Fingersss11.30.08 - 10:17 pm
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listen to RBI. times are tough right now. suck it up and stay at home. you dont want to couch surf or be sleeping on peoples pull out beds and floors.
funanu11.30.08 - 10:20 pm
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http://www.couchsurfing.com/
Graham11.30.08 - 10:21 pm
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if you would like me to be secluded and alone then sureeee ill stay at home and follow her rules! yeah!! what fun!
see ya next year everyone.
Frozen Fingersss11.30.08 - 10:26 pm
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i bet her rules are something like "be at home before midnight" and "dont drink so much tecate" and "dont act like a fucking retard", which believe it or not, are pretty much all rules for people your age. you have a lot of growing up to do and getting out of your parents house as soon as possible isnt the best way for you to do it.
ruinedbyidiots11.30.08 - 10:35 pm
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Are her rules really psychotic, or just somewhat restrictive?
If she's full on DSM-IV, then apply to community college if you're not in school, get loans, and find a decent shared apartment.
If she's just setting some boundaries then suck it up and deal with it until you have better prospects.
JB11.30.08 - 10:37 pm
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How do you know it's not: you have to be in bed by 8:30pm on weeknights, 8:45 on weekends, you have to give mom a pedicure every Tues, Thurs and Sat night, no TV except for the Hour of Power, no music except for Hanson or maybe the Jackson Five, blah blah blah.
toweliesbong11.30.08 - 10:40 pm
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Shit, wish I could leave the house, but I don't want to leave my mom in the care of my dumbshit sisters.
One doesn't want to work and goes between my place and her boyfriends all day.
The other was working, but her dumbshit boyfriend is overdoing it on the happy-grass, leading to a "failed drug-test".
But, the second I hear I'm able to get my job-switch, my mom's moving to Laughlin, and I'll be running 48 again.
Times are shit, and we all got to find our own way to tame our personal beasts nonetheless.
If you believe taking off is the best thing to do, lets hope you've got a follow-thru.
bentstrider11.30.08 - 10:45 pm
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Doogie Howser once wrote:
When we're young we want to be just like our parents
When we're teenagers we want to be nothing like our parents
When we grow up, we are our parents
barleye11.30.08 - 10:51 pm
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Bummer man. That's a bummer.
What you really don't want to do is move out and then have to move back in, because if you're not fully ready to support yourself that's what will happen. I have friends who have moved in and out of their parents house 5 times and its kind of embarrassing.
la duderina11.30.08 - 11:12 pm
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Pshh, you guys think you have it bad.
My moms Armenian!
rayrayray12.1.08 - 2:32 am
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STFU, get a job and stop begging random people on the internet to be your new "mommy."
larsenf12.1.08 - 2:59 am
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If anything, I've sort of become "Mommy" at my own house!!
bentstrider12.1.08 - 3:04 am
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ok, we need to get another rider haus going.
for serious.
if you guys find a house, put me down for a bedroom
Candy Cane12.1.08 - 7:31 am
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stay with sara until you can afford to drop some dough on a a cheap van and then just park it in venice beach and live there.
that's always been my back up plan if my living situations fell through.
deboRAWR12.1.08 - 9:09 am
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Worst case scenario, you can crash at my place in Santa Monica, but you'd have to sleep on the couch.
We need a rider house, and I need in.
mikeisadumbname12.1.08 - 9:16 am
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Godmorning Frozen Fingersss
You just learned a valuable lesson in the world of midnight ridazz. Unless your asking how to turn your bike into a fixed gear. (the canned response will be, go to the local bike co-op), or asking someone to come to your house to drink your beer (you'll get help with that). Ask for help around here, all you will get is armchair advise that you did not seek.
Good luck with finding a place to stay! Do whatever your heart and mind tells you. Whatever happens you will most likely end up being ok.
sexy12.1.08 - 9:37 am
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ew to most of you. im glad to see we have such a kind community here.
and thank you to all you others.
Frozen Fingersss12.1.08 - 10:13 am
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GOOD MORNNING YOU ALL AN TO ALL A GOOD MORN.......
smashen24712.1.08 - 10:15 am
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hang in there gabby. there are plenty of cheap places to live. more important is work. what do you want to do? what are your skills? let's see if we can find you some work and then the moving situation will be a little easier.
brassknuckle12.1.08 - 10:19 am
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DOUBLE PERSONALITY IS KICKING IN AHHHH RUN ITS THE EVIL ME AHHHH RUN!!!
smashen24712.1.08 - 10:19 am
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Um... I'm gonna go against the grain here a bit...
i need to move out asap. my mom says i cant live here if i don't follow her rules...and well...fuck that. her rules are psychotic.
It doesn't sound like you're being kicked out. It sounds like you just don't want to follow your mom's "psychotic" rules, and if you don't you're not welcome anymore. The question is, are they really psychotic? Because honestly hardly anybody actually gets along with their parents at your age. Trust me. I lived with mine until I was 23, and got a full-time job in California. I absolutely hated living at home for the last 6 years or so, but I stuck it out because it was the smart thing to do for many reasons.
It's a really shitty time to make a hasty move like this if you don't have some sort of secure employment and living situation. For one, it could damage your relationship with your mother to a point where you'll never have her support again. My mom had a "if you move out, you're on your own" rule... and you really don't want to be alone until you're really READY.
I'm getting kind of concerned about the message some people are getting about this community. It's great, and it's a lot of peoples' home away from home... but I'm worried people are starting to put a little too much faith in it as a support system. There are so many amazing things that MR is, but it IS NOT an excuse to not take responsibility for your actions simply because you count on the community to back you up. This isn't only about people being like "hey i'm broke and have nowhere to stay. rescue me!" It's also things like people riding around without health insurance, thinking that if anything happened, MR will raise the money for your medical bills, etc.
Not to burst anyone's bubble, but it's one thing to have good friends and a community that cares about you, and it's another to use that as an excuse to not take responsibility for yourself. This isn't directed solely at you FrozenFingers... but this thread is another example of the dangerous impression i feel that some of the young ridazz are getting. You REALLY need to think this through for yourself, and ask yourself "if there was no MR, would I be doing this?"
canadienne12.1.08 - 10:26 am
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"i forget all you do is act like a jackass on the forums all day.
my bad. "
LOL
&
unadulterated words from the sexy man himself. how do I love that guy, let me count the ways...
Eric Hair12.1.08 - 10:30 am
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canadienne:
i wasnt using this thread to not take responsability for my actions. and yes if there was no MR i would still be on the hunt to move out.
im not going to get into details about my relationship with my mother.
that isnt what this is about. i believe i didnt express myself clearly and thus i was misunderstood.
it isnt a dire situation i was just asking for advice or help and some people decided to treat me with disdain when they dont know me that well or havent even met me.
if anyone hears of any jobs or cheap places on the westside let me know through email: gggiorgio@aol.com
let this thread die. it wasnt worth it.
Frozen Fingersss12.1.08 - 10:38 am
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There is no MidnightCouchridazz.com
So I would check the ever so usefull and half of the forums could be solved by........YES.......YES......WAIT FOR IT.....
craigslist
SHAMWOWZERS!!!!!
parlorbikes12.1.08 - 10:45 am
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yes, when people tell you what you dont want to hear, then they are "treating you with disdain". is that what you tell youself every time you cant get your way?
you have A LOT of growing up to do.
ruinedbyidiots12.1.08 - 10:51 am
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wow,
you are so ridiculous rbi.
from what ive heard your a cool guy in person...so maybe you should take your own advice. grow up and stop this second personality on the internet. its stupid.
Frozen Fingersss12.1.08 - 10:54 am
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Someone out there must have some work for fuzz, gabby and some other peeps looking for jobs.
Oh Gabby, also try some temp agencies. Apple One is one that a lot of people use but i know there are a ton others.
brassknuckle12.1.08 - 10:54 am
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@rbi: there's plenty of folks on this board that thrive on naysaying (saying what people don't want to hear) just because it gets them off........so it's not super far fetched for FF to be skeptical of unpleasant advice
ps - if you haven't found any pedals yet, I've got some large ones with toe clips and straps. im in ktown
Eric Hair12.1.08 - 11:00 am
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canadine, jesus you need to learn about
rule 20. For the rest of you. Being as I have lived on my own but now back in LA live with my mother I would say the same, "suck it up live with your parents." Although having met her mother and seen her living situation i would not wish that apon anyone. I was always sceptical since everyone her age calls her mother psychotic. Gabby's mother truely is psychotic though and I wouldn't last a day in her situation.
larsenf12.1.08 - 12:42 pm
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300 bucks for your own room on the westside is going to be tough unless you consider living with some old cat lady who will expect you to grocery shop, cook dinner for her, mow her lawn, and adminster her medications. or some really creepy guy who wants something in return. i used to have a 62 year old neighbor that rented out his couch to 20 year old boys in exchange for "favors."
i'm also confused about 300 bucks? California minimum wage is 8 bucks an hour. that's $1000 bucks a month after deducting a conservative 20 percent. i don't know your other expenses, but if they are none, there's some wiggle room in there for things you really need and don't.
sciencefriction12.1.08 - 1:21 pm
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the only help i got is there is a 1 bed room next to my building for $525 a month $525 deposit....
or if you need a few nights just to get away you are always welcome to my couch...
MOM_RIDAZ42012.1.08 - 1:24 pm
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Not thing is to be taken seriously sounds all hip and cool but how is someone suppose to take it when the original poster is looking for a place to live cause she can't stand her mother? Sounded to me like she's looking for a handout and people are telling her the facts of life. Actually Canadienne really took the time to address it rather admirably. She also touched on the misconception some have on what MR board is to some. Nice job on that!
From everything I've read and talked to RBI, he too is a pretty intelligent dude. Personally I think he hits it on the nail just about every time with his insight.
When you post something like this, you're inviting feedback. Be thankful someone took the time to give you some advice. What you do with it is up to you.
Good luck.
User112.1.08 - 10:04 pm
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dam i just read threw this and i was confused about the title of this thread did people think this was a duchebag thread or what
jabier12.1.08 - 10:35 pm
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Recommendation from someone who's been there: suck it up while HARDCORE looking for a job that isn't going to evaporate AND obtaining the skills you need to acquire said job, then when you can really stand on your own two feet, GTFO and be happy. Just because you're young doesn't mean you have to have a job you hate that doesn't have any security. Get some skills that are worth something to somebody.
ephemerae12.1.08 - 10:46 pm
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The first word above was suppose to be "Nothing" not "Not thing".
No it's not a duchebag thread. Not even close. FF wants to move out and her mom's on her back. This is the same story that's been going on for generations. Lots of people have been in her position. They take the time to respond and the reaction is she hates them. OK maybe not hate, but something like that.
She did ask "thoughts, ideas, suggestions....." So why should anyone be given any shit for giving their opinion?
User112.1.08 - 10:47 pm
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because the opinion given isnt the one they were hoping to hear.
now go drink some box wine and forget about all your problems!
signed - the troll.
ruinedbyidiots12.1.08 - 11:24 pm
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My stepdad always told me as a story, not as an advisement, that as soon as he graduated high-school, he had already had his escape-plan in the works since 14.
He started working at a steel-mill at 16, then as soon as he graduated from high-school, he had enough money to pay for his first year of college and also enough for a place.
He essentially stuck with full-time school and work all the way up until he graduated and became credentialed in '78.
Thirty years later, owns a house that's already paid for, and has 21 years teaching in the same district(Lots of moving around before and a little after I came into the picture).
The point I'm trying to make is, if you've been unhappy where you're at for awhile, dig back into your memory.
See if you thought through an escape-route, should you've ever found yourself in the situation you're now in.
Myself, I've lived at home most of my life and now I'm facing the obvious, role-reversal of "caring for the parent".
That, and I never actually thought of leaving home until 21-22ish.
I don't consider myself a mommy's-boy, but when no one else is caring for the person that brought them into this world, someone's got to step up to the plate.
bentstrider12.1.08 - 11:31 pm
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I see absolutely no problem with an 18-year-old moving out of her parent's house. It might not be the most prudent time, economically, but it is not like every store/restaurant/coffee shop is closing down; an attractive girl like her will find employment. That's just the way the world works.
And CDN has a valid point about burning bridges, but if the framing is right ("I need to stand on my own two feet"), moving out should become something that her mother can respect, not resent -- unless her mom really is psychotic, and then no harm either way.
Seriously though, FrozenF, whatever you do, enroll yourself in school. I know there has been discussion on here before about how stupid college is, but my experience was that college was only as stupid as each student made it. If you go expecting to be "given an education," you're fucked. If you go to take all the learning you can get your frozen little fingers on, then you'll be golden.
Best of luck!
theroyalacademy12.1.08 - 11:45 pm
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CDN,
"I'm getting kind of concerned about the message some people are getting about this community. It's great, and it's a lot of peoples' home away from home... but I'm worried people are starting to put a little too much faith in it as a support system. There are so many amazing things that MR is, but it IS NOT an excuse to not take responsibility for your actions simply because you count on the community to back you up. This isn't only about people being like "hey i'm broke and have nowhere to stay. rescue me!" It's also things like people riding around without health insurance, thinking that if anything happened, MR will raise the money for your medical bills, etc.
Not to burst anyone's bubble, but it's one thing to have good friends and a community that cares about you, and it's another to use that as an excuse to not take responsibility for yourself. This isn't directed solely at you FrozenFingers... but this thread is another example of the dangerous impression i feel that some of the young ridazz are getting. You REALLY need to think this through for yourself, and ask yourself "if there was no MR, would I be doing this?" "
Me:
I'm not trying to argue with you for the sake of being a jackass. I rarely try to do that. I respect everyone's positions and their need to dissent, as I would hope anyone would do for me.
I don't really see FF's original post as asking for a handout. It sounds more like she was looking for options. Which sounds fairly similar to my post in a different thread. I don't know how much time you've spent on craigslist looking for housing or work or whatever, but it can be a pretty useless thing at times, full of strange and seedy people and offers, or just plain lack of a response when you need one.
I really don't see asking for help or advice or options as asking for a handout or even a rescue.
I also don't see people begging for anything when they get hurt, except maybe advice. There are a large number of people in this community without health insurance, most of these people are in this situation because of the very real fact that many of us are broke, or barely making ends meet, and that extra 100 bucks a month means eating or not. I know I am.
However, there is a great deal of mutual aid in this community. There's a reason for no rida left behind, and I know I take that very seriously. I take it seriously both on and off the bike (maybe even more so off the bike). Many of us who are transplants to LA don't have any sort of safety net here, and in many cases it's thousands of miles away; so,if we can't count on each other for help in times of need, who can we count on?
I might be blind to it, but I don't see too many ridazz, young or not, new or not, using ridazz as an excuse to be irresponsible, unless you mean maybe over imbibing once in a while.
I know if there were no MR, I'd still be asking my friends for aide in finding a place to live or a place to work, just as I have recently.
One of the things that makes a community just that is that people come to other people's aid when they need it.
If you got a flat on a ride, and didn't tell anyone, and didn't know how to fix it, would someone stop, maybe. Now if you start asking people for a hand (not a handout) but a hand, would someone stop, I'd say most definitely. Someone with the resources to aid you, or to connect you with someone who could. I see these same requests for help on all kinds of scales on this board all the time. From "can I borrow some pedals" to "help me raise money for X" to "help me find a (job/place to live/sex toy/life in outer space/borfo/whatever)."
Just because times are tough right now (and may get rougher), and it's starting to take its toll on those of us who for some reason have more extenuating circumstances (just starting out, lost everything, used up what resources they had, other support systems are failing them, something sudden happens and they don't have the resources), these are the flat tires of life, and well, some of us in this community have to reach out at times, and those that are reaching out now would, if the tables were turned, usually be the first to help another out. I know I would. I've had couch surfers I've taken in for months. Hell I was 4 people and a cat in a one bedroom apartment for nearly a year because friends of mine needed help and I wasn't going to say no.
Community is a word we toss around a lot, and sure it means different things to different people, and with ridazz, well, you decide your own level of involvement, and sure, some people need more than others at times, but if you can't count on your family/friends, and in many ways we are a family, and we are most definitely friends to an extent with a vast majority of the people in this culture, who CAN you count on.
I really don't see anyone begging or demanding help, just asking. There's an old saying about a squeaky wheel being the one that gets greased...
FuzzBeast12.2.08 - 1:19 am
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User 1 wrote:
They take the time to respond and the reaction is she hates them. OK maybe not hate, but something like that.
They take the time to respond like hostile, scolding assholes (with a very few exceptions). They shouldn't be surprised, then, when their advice is rejected and their tone is played back at them.
PC12.2.08 - 3:59 am
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Only reason I can't offer any, real advice beyond what I posted is due to the fact that I've never found myself in this type of situation before.
My mom and stepdad aren't exactly the "Camdens", but we always found common-ground and a compromise for something that otherwise, could've tore us apart.
Oh, and they've been divorced for 14 years too.
bentstrider12.2.08 - 7:05 am
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Fuzz,
I completely agree with you about all of that stuff about MR, and I realize that times are tough, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with asking friends for help. I wasn't implying that anyone who asks for help isn't taking responsibility for themselves. Not at all! Everybody at one time or another needs help. My concern (and obviously I didn't do a very good job at specifying) is more with a dangerous
direction that this kind of support system can have on the attitudes of some young ridazz. I just found the tone of the original post alarming (not necessarily because I don't believe FF's situation is bad. I don't know her OR her mother, so obviously I have no say in that) because it just
sounded to me like a common parent/child feud... which everyone goes through. And, regardless of FF's situation, a post like that might encourage even younger ridazz (some are 15 & 16!) to think that if they don't get along with their parents, then they can join a "bike haus" and escape their problems too. I don't want to play down anyone's individual problems. Everyone is in a unique situation, and I'm nobody to judge which is worthy of help or not. I was just trying to give some blind but honest advice to FF about the sacrifices you sometimes have to make (like tolerating parents) for the greater good in the long run. I'm sorry if my rant afterward about MR as a safety net was taken the wrong way. I don't really see the problem now, it's just a fear I have because there are so many young people riding with us, and... I dunno, if I had an MR equivalent when i was that young, I bet it'd be pretty intoxicating, and may have left me with a slight feeling if invincibility.
canadienne12.2.08 - 9:12 am
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http://realestate.aol.com/article/_a/yes-you-can-live-rent-free/20070322182209990001
gaby, if you are serious about moving out you need money, which you don't seem to have, so i would suggest getting a job asap or posting a craigslist ad as a barter roommate (and watch out for SUPER creeps!) or signing up for the website www.roommateexpress.com
i've read about it before in an LA magazine and have had friends who had friends who have done it.
deboRAWR12.2.08 - 9:40 am
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Pee,
RBI didn't come across as being some scolding asshole as you contend. He was direct and to the point. This was followed up with another rida that also isn't the type, reiterating what RBI said. Maybe to some RBI can sound abrasive but no worst than you yeah?
And when I was referring to someone taking the time to answer in complete and sincere manor, I was referring to Canadienne.
In the end, I'm betting RBI delivery will probably have more of an impact on her than Canadienne, unfortunately.
@bentstrider
It's impressive what you are doing. Keep up the good work my friend! Be grateful they're still around and you a good relationship with them.
User112.2.08 - 1:10 pm
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No, but seriously, some of you guys kill me. OMG, a legal adult wants to move out of her mom's house and is looking for affordable lodging with people she has something in common with! That's crazy talk! How irresponsible!
PC12.2.08 - 1:30 pm
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Read the thread again. She states something about getting out next year. One can read many things into it. My guess is she's not quite 18 and she's getting out at the latest when she turns 18. Granted I'm making alot of assumptions with this little clue of "next year".
What borders alot more at "crazy talk" is moving out with no job prospects, shity economy, skills are questionable, have $300 to your name, and you want to leave someone that really deep down inside loves you and cares about you. That my dear pee is crazy talk!
Finally she solicited advice, the only thing people are guilty of above is giving her advice. Well fuck me!
User112.2.08 - 2:25 pm
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Please tell us what these psychotic rules are.
barleye12.2.08 - 3:08 pm
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Actually, Alan, she is 18, I was there at her b-day. By next year, I'm assuming she means in a month. Also, when a young adult like Gabby describes her mother as "psychotic" I have a tendency to believe them. I've run into other people who use similar language about a parental unit(s) before, it's usually warranted. A friend of mine (one of the 3 other people I was letting live in my aforementioned 1 bedroom apt) used to describe her mother as psychotic. I didn't really believe her or my other friends who agreed with her, until she assaulted her own daughter in the parking lot.
I don't know the extent of Gabby's situation, but I do know Gabby, and to be honest, I'm inclined to believe her.
FuzzBeast12.2.08 - 3:11 pm
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Sorry Fuzz, I ain't buying it. Sure you could find an example where some parent got physical with their kid. Just as easily or I would argue easier you can find an example of a kid getting physical with a parent.
It's the kid that's going through all the changes, not the parent. It's the kid that is dealing with, divorced parents, physical growth, maturity, discovering who they are, learning to relate to others, peer pressure (save the jokes), dealing with their sexuality, rebelliousness, mood swings, self-centredness, egos, insecurities, self righteousness, rationalizing the world around them, the list could go on and on. So not knowing either, I can't say for certain how awful this parent is, and neither could you. I don't have kids, but I was rebellious at one time too. I couldn't stand living at home in my later teen years, but I also had a full time job when I did move out. And regardless of who's right, at the very least she should have steady income. Which means be able to pay the bills.
User112.2.08 - 3:45 pm
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