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My favorite thing about crank mob is the dump I always take on the following day. It's as if I spend the entire month between crank mobs taking these little "hold you over" dumps. Then crank mob happens and I drop a MONSTER 3-5 lb mass. Something about crank mob completely evacuates my bowels. Thank you crank mob. I feel much better now.
"Girls don't Fart." = False. Mixtemotions farted on me while i was laying on the ground in a parking lot. I was afraid for my own life. It smelled terrible.
I only said that because I was trying to save face, seeing as how I would as a kid CONSTANTLY lose farting contests to my neighbor.. who was like half my size..
One time I was with a friend, driving up to SF and he kept having me pull his finger as he rolled the window down in spite of my constant warnings that, "If you keep trying so hard to fart so loud, you're gonna crap yourself!" Sure enough, on "pull my finger" number 14, his laughter at his own farting noise turned into a look of horror as he frantically began searching the freeway for an exit with an accessible bathroom. I had to stop him as he started waddling away from the car and tell him to wrap his sweater around his waist to cover his shit-stained ass. He drove the rest of the way to SF, sitting on a towel while I laughed at his sharting shame!
One time my "friends" locked the gate to the tennis courts while I was inside. I was stuck in there for a few hours. Finally I had to poop so bad I started trying to climb the 12 foot chain link fence to get out. I was about halfway up when I pooped my pants. Had to ride my bike all the way home after. I was 12 years old and I'll never forget that day or the look on my moms face when i walked in the house.
finally! a forum i can contribute some expertise to!
@stillline - I tricked a waiter/friend at work with a 'complaint about something smelling a little off with my bar glasses' and produced the cup to him with which had but a split second ago had my hand covering the top.....he wiffed deep and almost spewed in front of customers... explaining that one to the management was met with the most confused stare i've seen in awhile
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another great excerpt involves a 'dueling banjo's competition' with a friend in a library with a giant echo and was pretty much empty but for us
we went through a number of rounds, laughing after completion...we got to round four, which I completed and as he mustered round four instead of a giggle and a trumpet, his smile just froze and remained for a few seconds... he remarked 'i think i just lost... bigtime' and it was quite clear how badly judging from his walk out of the library
Yesterday Stolba made an observation as to how I frequently desire to lick things (mostly people's heads, though), and I remarked that I must still be stuck in the oral stage of Freud's developmental psychology model.
I'm glad to see everyone else here is well ahead to the anal stage!
This thread has me ROTFSMAO...yes that's sharting my ass off
1. I did not really fart on you Matt stilline... I WOULD have if I had one but Robotz do not fart.
2. we were at THE BEACH not a parking lot.
3. +1 about the poo... SERIOUSLY I thought it was JOOSE my 1st couple C.R.A.N.K MOBS but then I was like no no.... It's Cinco De Mayo.... then I was like.... oh no it's my BF dressed as a POO, but smelling like delicious chocolate. THEN I REALIZED it is the power of C.R.A.N.K. MOB that compels me... er my bowels, to digest FUN and excrete it in the form of MONSTA DOOK... my brother calls is "blasting a dook" that always makes me laugh.
p.s C.O.L.O.N.I.C. scramble scramble scramble.... N.I.C.O.L..... scratch that other O and make it an E!!! dun dun dun N.I.C.O.L.E. MOB!!! The Power of POOP compels me!!
i just laughed myself into needing to use my inhaler (weeeze)
i love poop stories (so here one goes):
a friend of mine greg and his buddy (lets just call him mike) go to Ireland for spring break to get shitfaced and the like. so 3 days in after drinking a bunch and eating unfamiliar foods the buddy "mike" gets really sick. hes totally bummed cuz they're only there for a few more days and how often is one in ireland anyway. so "mike" says fuck it- im gonna live it up, sick or no. so he and greg go out drinking and get pitched, "mike" meets a girl and they drunkenly hit it off, start smoochin and end up at her place to do the dirty. he wakes up in a sweat sometime in the morning feeling really awful and such and looks around. he realizes he is lying in a lot of shit- being sick and waaaay too drunk, he just let it all out at some point in being passed out. so he cleans himself up (the girl is still asleep) and he bounces but no before leaving her a note. it said.
finally a thread for the ages.
oh, and it IS possible to light your farts with a lighter.. try it sometime... it's one of the most amazing things ever. and one of the few urban legends that is actually real.
just beware the combustibility of a fart... i had a friend almost light his couch on fire... srsly careful... asses of fire is only funny when it doesn't cause actual burns
PROTIP: When creating Blue Darts (sometimes orange, depending on what you've eaten), do it through pants (tight obviously) or at least underwear. Don't wanna singe hair!
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Ridazz Roulette!
GIrls don't fart, everyone knows that.
@stilline
C.R.A.N.K. MOB is anally expressive.