Toxic Mortgage Products
Thread started by
PC at 12.29.08 - 2:09 am
You know how rock and roll bands, especially punk and heavy metal bands, like to have scary names? Like Septic Death, or Nuclear Assault, or Castration Squad, or Murder Junkies, or Death Mold?
Well, if I ever start a rock and roll band, I am going to call it Toxic Mortgage Products. I will call my band Toxic Mortgage Products because I believe that rock and roll music must, above all, stay current and "with the times." And in the current climate, what could be more viscerally terrifying than a 3/1 Option ARM on a property now worth about 60% of the loan principal, with the rate due to reset in 2009? Sca-a-a-a-a-a-ary, kids! Whooooooo! I think that with a scary name like Toxic Mortgage Products, my band will acquire an "edgy" and "dangerous" image, which will make attractive girls want to sleep with me.
In conclusion, I would like to start a rock and roll band and name it Toxic Mortgage Products. Thank you for your kind attention.
reply
I expect a lot of lyrics about deals with the devil and financial weapons of mass destruction. More importantly though, what will the genre be called? Finance-core? Debt Metal?
This
is LA, after all. Studies have conclusively proven that 70% of us are unable to follow anything that is not part of a labeled trend. Quickly now, someone assign this new thing to a category so that we may align ourselves for or against it!
nathansnider12.29.08 - 2:35 am
reply
Toxic Mortgage Products will be the debt metal band. I will also start a side project with more of an early 80s LA punk sound and politically charged lyrics. And this band will be called...Negative Amortization.
PC12.29.08 - 2:44 am
reply
Dear Midnight Ridazz:
These housing meltdown / band name jokes doing anything for ya?
Love
PC
PC12.29.08 - 2:45 am
reply
I'm going to start a Country-Funk band and call it "Shitkickin' Ass Assassins"!!! Or, simply SkAA!!!
Lyrical flow will usually revolve around the stories of those who were asking for shit, didn't know when to quit, and are now bitching about their predicament.
bentstrider12.29.08 - 3:18 am
reply
NathanSnider is right. That horror rock metal only works because what is conceived as gruesome is already part of popular culture. How many Heavy Metal fans know what you are talking about when you say ARM.
Paging David Hume. You are a heavy metal fan.. Do you know what a ARM is?
Could this really be scary enough to most people (when they don't even understand what it is), that adolescent teenage heavy metal fans will find this cool in a sick and twisted way.
sexy12.29.08 - 3:36 am
reply
Way to kill my hilarious thread with your tedious re-explanation of the premise, dickhead.
PC12.29.08 - 3:40 am
reply
I don't think you like me PC
sexy12.29.08 - 3:44 am
reply
Can I come over for that drink now?
PC12.29.08 - 3:46 am
reply
sure PC. I'm going to sleep now. By the time you get here, I'll be up and we can have that drink.
sexy12.29.08 - 4:40 am
reply
This is pretty hilarious. Love the "debt metal" genre assigned to it. ha ha.
Jazzy Phat Nastee12.29.08 - 7:32 am
reply
TOXIC MORTGAGE PRODUCTS LEAKING CREDIT IN YO MOUF
ephemerae12.29.08 - 8:06 am
reply
So I guess we can label you a sell out before you even get started?
User112.29.08 - 10:41 pm
reply
hey PC, want to come over this morning for a drink?
sexy12.29.08 - 11:12 pm
reply
Hey wait PC - what if your ARM was tied to LIBOR - then you ass would be a happy cat in 2009 when your rate reset to next to nothing. Just don't get laid off from your body repair shop job 3 hours commute away in the Inland Empire.
Alex Thompson12.29.08 - 11:15 pm
reply
But the buyer would still be deep underwater on the mortgage if he bought in 2006. Whooooo! Scaaaaaaaaary!
PC12.29.08 - 11:34 pm
reply
fucking hilarious thread right here.
negative amortization just broke up and reformed as the sub prime hyenas.
Paging David Hume. You are a heavy metal fan.. Do you know what a ARM is?
the only arm that comes to mind is
apathetic ronald mcdonald
ruinedbyidiots12.29.08 - 11:50 pm
reply
The problem with the ARM resets is that they reset to the fully amortized rate, so if you were paying the minimum (negative amortization) payment on an Option ARM, even with a low interest rate, your payment is going to go up significantly. You'd be paying on the full amount including the increased principal on a house that is now significantly upside-down, which creates a pretty strong incentive to walk away.
This is why housing prices aren't going to stabilize any time soon. We're in a lull right now, and then later this year through 2011 we have the Alt-A/Option ARM resets, and that's when the nicer neighborhoods go on sale. (This sucks if you already own, but anyone interested in a Westside Bikehaus that is actually owned instead of rented ought to be pretty stoked.)
Check out this chart, it shows that we're going to be in a mess until people get on the ball and get this sorted out.
http://www.calculatedriskblog.com/2007/10/imf-mortgage-reset-chart.html
JB12.30.08 - 10:12 am
reply
Yeah, well, while you guys have been laboriously re-re-explaining the premise, I've been busy forming the band, writing material, acquiring a following, getting a record deal, and recording the album.
Toxic Mortgage Products OWNS the debt metal scene with their terrifying new album
It's Different This Time! They're already tearing up the Internet radio charts with their tracks "Horsemen of Forclosure" and "FICO Eviscerator"!
Available in stores now, with easy financing available! We can finance anybody! Got a pulse? We can loan you money to buy this album! Why be a bitter mp3 downloader when you can experience the feeling of accomplishment and security that comes with being an albumowner? You can always sell it to Amoeba when you're done with it, and earn a massive profit--prices of debt metal CDs can only go up! Buy
It's Different This Time right now, or be PRICED OUT OF THE MARKET FOREVER!
PC12.30.08 - 4:36 pm
reply
Uh oh, the image server got foreclosed on. Hurry and look while Midnight Ridazz dot com still owns this property!
PC12.30.08 - 4:39 pm
reply
I dunno... I liked TMP's pre-5:08 stuff better that that shit everyone's into now.
canadienne12.30.08 - 4:54 pm
reply
HAHAHAHA I got one over on TMP!!
I bought my copy, ripped it, and now it's being ebayed!
I'm gona double my money!!!!!
User112.31.08 - 12:07 am
reply
-->
Ridazz Roulette!