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Thread Box:
ass grab
Thread started by ephemerae at 04.21.09 - 10:19 pm

Grr. Just had my ass groped by a passing car while riding bike at high speed down Fair Oaks (Alta/Pasadena). Did not crash, but still, this annoyed the shit out of me.

Be on the lookout for a black flatbed utility vehicle with beater-wearing yobbos in it.

I think this is a first for me. I've been buzzed way too close by similar yobbos a few times, but this is the first time I've been contacted. I shoulda sat my fat ass on that hand and crushed it beneath my ominous bulk.

I almost wish them physical harm. My first thought is that I need to carry blowdarts which administer nanobots with a hunger for calcium, and make my enemies all have floppy bones.


reply


you know you likeded it



_iJunes
04.21.09 - 10:20 pm

reply


"My first thought is that I need to carry blowdarts which administer nanobots with a hunger for calcium, and make my enemies all have floppy bones."


+15623



danya
04.21.09 - 10:20 pm

reply


HAH!!

Try being a girl, I've had my ass slapped multiple times.

Take it as a compliment, in your case. In my case, ULOCK through the windshield I say!! Alright I'm not that aggressive, but maybe one day I'll use my lock for something other than a novelty item.



feelingrandy
04.21.09 - 10:24 pm

reply


Crazy shit I've gotten my ass grabbed on two consecutive mr rides.... its really crazy out there folks.





Roadblock
04.21.09 - 10:59 pm

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yeah that's the main reason i wanted to share the story, just to remind folks tobe vigilant cos people will try to fuck with you, i got off lightly i think, coulda been much worse



ephemerae
04.21.09 - 11:06 pm

reply


It wasn't me...



dannyzuko
04.21.09 - 11:09 pm

reply


I hate the fact that all the fuckheads who scream shit at me are never seen again.
It's like they actually fear parking some place along the same route they ass-hatted on and finding their vehicle getting violently dragged off by a heavy-cable hooked to a speeding powder-train!!!





bentstrider
04.21.09 - 11:09 pm

reply


On the ride with no name, a few months back, i was riding along minding my own business, when all the sudden someone squeezed my ass, i turned quickly to see who it was, but they were moving a lot faster than I was, and i all i caught was the dude's back as he weaved through the pack. Red sweatshirt. For the next 20 minutes i was on a mission to catch the red sweatshirt, and get my revenge on the shameless perv.
I dropped my phone no less than 3 times from my pocket in that twenty minutes, and i lost sight of the asshole a few times too.
The frustration and anger was at a boiling point. Finally, i'm behind the red sweatshirt. I grab his U-Lock out of his belt, and bolt forward. I turn back to see his face; nobody i'd ever seen before. My plan was hit him with it at the next stop if he showed no remorse, or, toss the lock into a trashcan (forcing him dig it out like the bum he was) if he got on his knees and kissed my dirty ass feet and apologized sincerely.
Stop rolls around. I confront homeboy, who is standing with some girl on the sidewalk. It turns out it wasnt him at all, and his girlfriend, who was riding with him the whole time vouched. And the girl thought i was trying to hit on her man by "coyly plucking his u-lock from his pants." ugh.
so who did it then?




Candy Cane
04.21.09 - 11:33 pm

reply


It wasn't me...

dannyzuko
04.22.09 - 2:09 am


...........i know what you did last summer......



Candy Cane
04.21.09 - 11:33 pm

reply


it was me



la duderina
04.21.09 - 11:41 pm

reply


Was it me?



Roadblock
04.21.09 - 11:42 pm

reply


Why don't we all paste "body-warmth activated" super-epoxy to our asses when we roll through the sketchy parts of town?

The perp will be all like "ha-ha.....oh shit!!!! lemme go lemme go, I swear on the Virgin Mary I lost my head and didn't know what I was thinking!!!"




bentstrider
04.21.09 - 11:45 pm

reply


^^haha not on that particular occasion ;)

i know who it was.

:X



Candy Cane
04.21.09 - 11:45 pm

reply


suck my bullocks.



Joe Borfo
04.22.09 - 12:05 am

reply


Yes Bentsrider that should do the trick. Or perhaps I should put on some nuclear powered speedos and blast their hands off with some dynomite powder stored in a intergalactic motorcycle helmet!



Roadblock
04.22.09 - 12:07 am

reply


I have a feeling Adam's butt hole is actually a Star Gate Portal to another dimension. Anyone brave enough to venture through it?

Anyone?






Joe Borfo
04.22.09 - 12:11 am

reply


It might be a stargate.... or it could be erin gray and gil gerard's dead carcasses riding in on a geothermal photon induced seizure from 500 years into the future!



Roadblock
04.22.09 - 12:17 am

reply


"I have a feeling Adam's butt hole is actually a Star Gate Portal to another dimension" -Borfo


Im laughing so hard, im crying.



Candy Cane
04.22.09 - 12:19 am

reply


ULOCK through the windshield

+100000000000000000000000000

(i've done a ulock to headlight once.)



roadkill
04.22.09 - 12:20 am

reply


It's barely 12:21, guys. This is too much. Wait a little.



imachynna
04.22.09 - 12:21 am

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You are NOT going to catch up to me, Chynna!



Joe Borfo
04.22.09 - 12:24 am

reply


I'm losing hope, just a LITTLE



imachynna
04.22.09 - 12:28 am

reply


But guess what?



imachynna
04.22.09 - 12:28 am

reply


I have interwebz on my phone now, so HA



imachynna
04.22.09 - 12:29 am

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oh god. now you'll NEVER do your homework.



Candy Cane
04.22.09 - 12:35 am

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HEY
I was doing it just a minute ago. But anyway I don't like being on the phone internet. It's too much. But I wasn't supposed to say that. I'm supposed to make Borfo believe that I'll be posting more so he'll get scared. But really I'm just scared. But but but.
Although I should get back to it...
but I like talking to sad people.



imachynna
04.22.09 - 12:40 am

reply


I didn't make sense just then. or now. or ehh



imachynna
04.22.09 - 12:44 am

reply


....I guess it's a sign of how homework-fried my brain is then, because that made perfect sense to me. Then again, it's also taking me 2x as much effort to type normally right now.



danya
04.22.09 - 12:50 am

reply


Fuckin' General Landry better start dialing in the right coordinates!!!

Montezuma's Revenge my left nut!!!!!



bentstrider
04.22.09 - 12:55 am

reply


I knew someone would understand



imachynna
04.22.09 - 1:08 am

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All this time I thought china had the most posts. Who know it was borfo????

Some one get me my 500 billion kilowatt robotic arm so that I can guide it using my hydrolyzed vapor based lazer sight to press a giant beveled 4 barrel exhaust cam!!



Roadblock
04.22.09 - 1:18 am

reply


wow...that actually makes my stomach turn... what kind of asshole feels entitled to grab a stranger like that



widowmaker
04.22.09 - 1:57 am

reply








Candy Cane
04.22.09 - 2:28 am

reply


BEAUTIFUL. SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL!!
Genius. FUCKING genius!!



imachynna
04.22.09 - 7:42 am

reply


I've been immortalized as a GIF!!!!!!



bentstrider
04.22.09 - 8:21 am

reply


GAF!



spiraldemon
04.22.09 - 8:32 am

reply


did you blush?



mattspeed
04.22.09 - 8:42 am

reply


IM CHARGIN MAH LAZER BEAMS



ephemerae
04.22.09 - 9:12 am

reply


I grab mike's butt all the time. people say they can't help it.



mmaceda
04.22.09 - 9:20 am

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you know if you would have gotten their License plate, you could have might have been able to file a police report for some sexual assault charge, Also the driver could have been brought up on charges for the act too. We all need to Get the plates and file reports on these idiots. They might do it again and some nervous rider could get hurt.

glad you didnt get hurt.



thegodofthor
04.22.09 - 9:52 am

reply


god damn, i love this thread.






coldcut
04.22.09 - 10:03 am

reply


god damn i love this, thread.



coldcut
04.22.09 - 10:05 am

reply


My middle name is Grabitass! actually the last bonfire BBQ i had at my place we had a ass grab competition to see who had the tightest ass..Keep em loose no squeezing! LOL! Cheater!



pporras
04.22.09 - 11:35 am

reply


I admit grabbing RBs ass at the last MR. it was delicious.



batgirlkarla
04.22.09 - 12:26 pm

reply


Imagine a driver or car passenger being put on a sex offender list for "ass grabbing" a bicyclist.

If a couple of people were prosecuted, there would be far fewer "ass grabbings".



urbanpedal
04.22.09 - 2:17 pm

reply


Or, as a response, why don't we all just smack a 4wheeled offender with a giant dong as we cruise by?!?!?!?!?



bentstrider
04.22.09 - 2:21 pm

reply


YAY!



Joe Borfo
04.22.09 - 2:22 pm

reply


I don't back shit up!!!

I sling that big, long, OSCAR MAYER!!!!



bentstrider
04.22.09 - 2:30 pm

reply


damn. Couldnt upload the pic.
check the link.
https://www.sworddemon.com/p-4057-cobra-system-crossbow.aspx



ONEpedalDEATHkick 818
04.22.09 - 4:26 pm

reply


Carry one of these in your messenger bag like me, and BAM, instant retribution! say goodbye to your s.u.v.'s tire!



ONEpedalDEATHkick 818
04.22.09 - 4:28 pm

reply


screw that, mount on yer xbow on a front fork.
get behind the car and fire away.
have a lever next to breaks just right there



aksendz
04.22.09 - 4:36 pm

reply


lolz NICE!
Its an 80 lb. draw though..... probably wouldnt be as easy as pulling my brake lever.

I love it though, its super discrete for a cross bow. only 19"



ONEpedalDEATHkick 818
04.22.09 - 4:59 pm

reply


I like the dong idea but have an improvement.

you get a huge Dong, (with the suction cup on the balls side)
and as you see the truck, you lick the suction cup and stick it onto the tailgate of the truck.

what would be better then pickup trucks riding around with huge dongs hanging off the back and the driver not knowing.





thegodofthor
04.22.09 - 5:15 pm

reply


we can use pedal power to draw the string. there has to be a way
and brake lever to release it



aksendz
04.22.09 - 5:31 pm

reply


I like the dong idea



Gav
04.22.09 - 6:01 pm

reply


I thought this was going to be a pro-ass-grabbing thread. I'm so disappointed. Many ridazz have great asses...whaddayagonnado?



kryxtanicole
04.22.09 - 6:02 pm

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I was violated by a couple girls on the Ride with no Name. I feel ashamed and guilty...



Roadblock
04.22.09 - 6:09 pm

reply


dirty



Candy Cane
04.22.09 - 6:12 pm

reply


Allan grabbed Raquel's ass in San Diego. It was great.



imachynna
04.22.09 - 6:26 pm

reply


CULO!!!!!!!



theladiesman
04.22.09 - 6:28 pm

reply


i poked your ass one time in san diego. it was also, great.

african titties!!!!!!



Candy Cane
04.22.09 - 6:29 pm

reply


slapping or poking my ass is dangerous. you're lucky you didnt break any bones in your hand on impact.



Roadblock
04.22.09 - 6:54 pm

reply


bahahaha afri FUCKIN can TITTIES



imachynna
04.22.09 - 6:55 pm

reply


RB, i was talking about chynna's ass.
it was oh so fluffy and fun. like a medicine ball. make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass




Candy Cane
04.22.09 - 6:58 pm

reply


I wasnt talkin to you so much as I was just giving out a genral warning to the public. but you know how people are, they like to take risks ' shit.



Roadblock
04.22.09 - 7:00 pm

reply


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make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass





imachynna
04.22.09 - 7:11 pm

reply


cuddle puddles, out. ass grabbing while riding, IN!



funanu
04.22.09 - 7:13 pm

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A little while ago some douche bag rider came up behind me and grabbed at my ass while riding North on Vermont. I turn around and bit his head off. He apologized and said he though I was someone else. Bullshit. You cant mistake someone's a) Bicycle. b) Keys.

I still feel super violated.



Tarmonster.
04.22.09 - 7:29 pm

reply


I'm Cosmo Kramer, the ass man.



la duderina
04.22.09 - 7:46 pm

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You can't mistake someone's a.) bicycle b.) keys c.) ass.

Asses are like snowflakes. And, sometimes, medicine balls.

Holy shit.



katiepoche
04.22.09 - 7:56 pm

reply


make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass



imachynna
04.22.09 - 7:58 pm

reply


shit on ya chessssss



Roadblock
04.22.09 - 7:58 pm

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i love this forum.
i do.
im smiling and laughing, what a wonderful life



Candy Cane
04.22.09 - 8:00 pm

reply


that crussss n' dough n' shit



Candy Cane
04.22.09 - 8:02 pm

reply






imachynna
04.22.09 - 8:04 pm

reply


Someone needs to grab my ass, but I think it's size scares people away.



Gav
04.22.09 - 8:06 pm

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damn, ITS not it's



Gav
04.22.09 - 8:06 pm

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I'll do it. Now to find those photos of your thighs...



imachynna
04.22.09 - 8:08 pm

reply






Candy Cane
04.22.09 - 8:09 pm

reply


Wow, how long ago were those pictures taken. It was The People's ride, but what month?



Gav
04.22.09 - 8:16 pm

reply


i did it... in my dreams :(



666
04.22.09 - 8:28 pm

reply






imachynna
04.22.09 - 8:55 pm

reply


baby baby!



aksendz
04.22.09 - 9:14 pm

reply


can we start a thread called "photos of your thighs"?

want



Candy Cane
04.22.09 - 9:16 pm

reply


oh I miss those shorts.



Gav
04.22.09 - 9:25 pm

reply


want



imachynna
04.22.09 - 9:30 pm

reply


want what?



Gav
04.23.09 - 4:33 pm

reply


@Chynna. I second that. Want. FLaML!



danya
04.23.09 - 4:34 pm

reply


She wants to suck your bullocks.



Joe Borfo
04.23.09 - 4:35 pm

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ruinedbyidiots
04.23.09 - 4:36 pm

reply



Culo - Pit Bull

forgive me... but its only right that i do this



theladiesman
04.23.09 - 4:37 pm

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rbi you got some girly legs.



_iJunes
04.23.09 - 4:39 pm

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i shaved them because i wanted to be more like you.



ruinedbyidiots
04.23.09 - 4:41 pm

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Why don't we just rename this thread the Softcore Porn Section of the Midnight Ridazz Sex Catalog?

There's already enough dry-humping and makeup sex going on about that we could record it all and pay for bandwidth 10 times over!!!



bentstrider
04.23.09 - 4:55 pm

reply


Just put a bag on Tylers head and I'll go to town.


wait. thats not right...



Joe Borfo
04.23.09 - 4:58 pm

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ahahaha



ruinedbyidiots
04.23.09 - 4:58 pm

reply


I'd post a pic of my flexing hamstrings, but I don't want to damage my lens.



Gav
04.23.09 - 5:04 pm

reply


UR ALL SO FULL OF YOUR SELF'S.



TIMESARECHANGING
04.23.09 - 6:59 pm

reply


Eddieboy is back?...



Joe Borfo
04.23.09 - 7:19 pm

reply


confession: i saved the photo of tyler's legs to my desktop.



Candy Cane
04.23.09 - 8:20 pm

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man, i tried so hard to take a better picture, but all i have are zoom lenses. i need a wide angle!
if you need a leg model for your next photo shoot let me know. i am of service.



ruinedbyidiots
04.23.09 - 8:21 pm

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i actually have BIG plans for ridazz portraits. you're on the list. Im working on a book.



Candy Cane
04.23.09 - 8:24 pm

reply


UR ALL SO FULL OF YOUR SELF'S.

TIMESARECHANGING
04.23.09 - 9:59 pm

1. selves. It's plural. No possesive.
2. For good reason... we're all really fucking sexy around here.



danya
04.23.09 - 8:24 pm

reply


confession: I also, of course, saved the photo of his legs. wtf.






want what?

Gav
04.23.09 - 7:33 pm




what cc wants


can we start a thread called "photos of your thighs"?

want

Candy Cane
04.23.09 - 12:16 am





imachynna
04.23.09 - 10:17 pm

reply





I hope Brett doesn't mind.



la duderina
04.24.09 - 12:03 am

reply


gah...





la duderina
04.24.09 - 12:04 am

reply






la duderina
04.24.09 - 12:05 am

reply


wolfpack/bicykiller Chris



la duderina
04.24.09 - 12:07 am

reply


racing makes your penis grow



la duderina
04.24.09 - 12:08 am

reply


random dude with silky smooth legs



la duderina
04.24.09 - 12:10 am

reply


and for the finale



la duderina
04.24.09 - 12:10 am

reply


I think Junu's legs need a whole thread for themselves.



la duderina
04.24.09 - 12:11 am

reply


bike porn for the ladies?



funanu
04.24.09 - 12:12 am

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men can enjoy as well, I know you are funanu! haha jk



la duderina
04.24.09 - 12:14 am

reply


Now here's an ass you can really grab a hold of



la duderina
04.24.09 - 12:16 am

reply

Reply


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